I Tried the Philips Bodygroom 7000 ‘Down There’… Here’s What Happened

I Tried the Philips Bodygroom 7000 ‘Down There’… Here’s What Happened

Introduction: 

Let’s be honest—manscaping is like playing Operation with your nether regions. One wrong move, and buzz—suddenly you’re hopping around the bathroom like you just sat on a fire ant. So when I heard the Philips Norelco Bodygroom 7000 promised a painless, nick-free trim for sensitive areas, I was equal parts intrigued and terrified.

I’ve been burned before (sometimes literally, thanks to cheap razors). But as a guy who likes to keep things tidy without looking like a plucked turkey, I decided to take one for the team. I bought the Bodygroom 7000, charged it up, and bravely (foolishly?) took it for a spin down under.

What followed was… enlightening.

This is my completely unfiltered experience—the good, the bad, and the “oh God, why?” moments. If you’ve ever wondered whether this thing actually works where it counts, buckle up.

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Chapter 1: First Impressions – Is This Thing Even Safe?

Unboxing: Looks Like a Spaceship for Your Junk

The Bodygroom 7000 arrives in sleek, minimalist packaging—very “I’m a serious grooming tool, not a cheap Walmart impulse buy.” Inside, you get:

• The dual-sided trimmer (one side for close shaving, the other for trimming).

• 5 adjustable guards (because nobody wants a surprise buzz cut there).

• A charging stand (no hunting for USB cables at 1 AM).

• User manual (which I ignored, like any responsible adult).

First thought? “This looks too fancy to be dangerous.” Famous last words.

Design & Feel: Ergonomics Matter When You’re Handling… Delicate Areas

The Bodygroom 7000 is lightweight, waterproof, and shaped like a futuristic toothbrush. The rubberized grip is a nice touch—because the last thing you want is a slippery trimmer near your crown jewels.

The dual-sided blade system is the real selling point:

• Side 1: A foil shaver for smooth finishes.

• Side 2: A trimmer with guards for controlled lengths.

I poked at the blades cautiously. “Are these going to bite me?” Only one way to find out.

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Chapter 2: The Moment of Truth – Testing on Sensitive Terrain

Pre-Game Prep: Anxiety & a Prayer

Before going full “Jack the Clipper,” I:
✔ Washed the area (hygiene first, people).
✔ Charged it fully (a dead trimmer mid-job is a nightmare).
✔ Applied zero shaving cream (the manual says you don’t need it… bold claim).

First Pass: The Trim (Guard On, Because I’m Not Reckless)

I attached the 3mm guard (medium length) and went in.

The Good:

• No pulling or tugging—just a smooth, even trim.

• Quiet motor (no scary “chainsaw revving” noise).

• No nicks (so far, so good).

The Bad:

• The guard isn’t super wide, so you have to go slow to avoid missed patches.

• Hair clippings go everywhere (do this over a towel, unless you enjoy vacuuming your bathroom floor afterward).

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Second Pass: The Close Shave (Foil Side – Gulp)

Now for the real test: going bare. I flipped to the foil shaver and took a deep breath.

The Experience:

• Surprisingly gentle—no razor burn (yet).

• Not as close as a razor, but way safer.

• Tricky around curves—had to stretch skin to avoid missed spots.

The Verdict So Far:

• Best for trimming (guard on).

• Okay for smooth shaving, but not baby-butt level.

• Zero bloodshed—which, in manscaping terms, is a win.

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Chapter 3: The Aftermath – Did I Regret It?

Post-Shave Feel: Smooth or Sandpaper?

• 24 Hours Later: No redness, no itching. “Is this… success?”

• 48 Hours Later: Minor stubble, but no ingrown hairs (a miracle).

Would I Use It Again?

✅ Yes, for maintenance trims (guard on).
⚠ Maybe for full shaves (but I’d use shaving gel next time).
🚫 Never without the guard (I’m not that brave).

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Final Verdict: Should You Buy It?

Who’s It For?

✔ Beginners (it’s forgiving).
✔ Guys who hate razor burn.
✔ Travelers (waterproof + cordless).

Who Should Skip It?

✖ Perfectionists (it won’t give a razor-close shave).
✖ Budget shoppers (it’s $60—not the cheapest).

My Honest Rating: 8.5/10

• Safety: 10/10

• Ease of Use: 9/10

• Close Shave: 7.5/10

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Final Thought: (I Tried the Philips Bodygroom 7000 ‘Down There’… Here’s What Happened)

If you want a safe, no-fuss trimmer for down there, the Bodygroom 7000 delivers. Just don’t expect magic—it’s a “good, not god-tier” tool.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to celebrate not bleeding today.

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